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Rule 42. Never be a fair-weather fan

 

It’s better to not like a team or a sport at all, because fair-weather fans are douches. As a long time Philadelphia fan, I can attest to your team breaking your heart. But that is what makes sports great kids. Because when they win, it makes everything worth it. If you just jump from one good team to another good, you have no scruples as a sports fan. And you will like sports in this household.

 

Rule 40. Don’t date a girl/boy who smokes.

Because eventually they will look like a wrinkly catchers mitt. Plus they’ll smell like an ashtray and your mom and I will not approve. Smoking is a terrible habit, nothing good comes from it. The best thing that can happen from it is someone thinks you’re cool. The worst thing? Oh just dying of course. Sounds like that’s not an even payoff.