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Rule 6. Get there a little bit early.

You’ll never regret it.* And if you think you might run late, call. People are exorbitantly grateful for this. Plus, it just feels better when you’re early. Trust me.
 
 
*(This applies to professional events/meetings) For a party, being early can be annoying to the host, so just be on time.

Rule 3. When you’re eating at a diner, DO NOT order the lobster, or the steak.

This really applies to all diners and diner ordering. Diners are a staple of late night eating, drunken eating, and cheap eating. Diner menus are like War and Peace for menus. They are long. They are overwhelming. And like War and Peace, ultimately you might be left unsatisfied if you order the wrong thing. 
 
So remember, Bobby Flay ain’t making you the food in the diner, it’s probably someone who is not a professional chef. So keep that in mind. Order something simple, preferably of the breakfast variety. Or something fried. Or a sandwich, basically anything you would trust an 18 year old to make. 

To Our Future Kids

Hi Kids,

  Mom and I started this 6 years ago because we have a lot of good ideas that we don’t want you to miss out on just because you aren’t here yet. So, we’re recording our insights here, for later days when our memories fail to recall all the important tidbits we wish we could share with you already.

You might find this hard to believe someday, but at least back when we started this thing we were both exceptionally cool. (Now…not so much…. You try and pay a mortgage and stay hip!)
Love, 
Mom and Dad