So sit down and listen to what they have to say.

Because even if you make a ton of money, you’re going to feel like this on the inside.

Because you don’t want stuff splashing everywhere when you’re trying to wash a damn dish. And when you have lots of dirty dishes, it won’t be impossible to get anything done.

Because you don’t want to look like you have Scoliosis when Mom and I gave you awesome genes. Don’t sully my genes!

It’s better to not like a team or a sport at all, because fair-weather fans are douches. As a long time Philadelphia fan, I can attest to your team breaking your heart. But that is what makes sports great kids. Because when they win, it makes everything worth it. If you just jump from one good team to another good, you have no scruples as a sports fan. And you will like sports in this household.

It’s not the healthiest choice, but if you just want to have a satisfying soup,  go with a cream soup.