All posts by theunmanlychef

Rule 37. Always pack light.

If you pack light you wont need to vacuum seal your stuff like I did in Munich. Except underwear, always pack a couple extra of those. The benefits of packing light allow you to not ever have to worry about losing your luggage, because it’s always a carry-on!  Yes that is my bag kids.

Rule 33. If you do stupid modifications to your car, I will disown you.

 

Seriously, I will.

This does not mean you cannot work on your car. It just means if you are driving a 1995 (or by your age, 2020?) Toyota Corolla, you cannot tint the windows,add rims, put a spoiler on it, or do anything else like that to it.

Why?

Because you are wasting your money while driving around something that makes everyone else including your parents question your sanity.

 

Rule 32. You can never go wrong with Mac & Cheese

You are going to eat it a lot at our house. Why? Because it’s my favorite food and I enjoy making it.

It’s simple, yet delicious. Here are a few guidelines for perfecting your mac & cheese experience.

1. If you can make it at home, with all your own ingredients, do it.  It will always taste better. (Make some macaroni. Then  melt butter in a small sauce pan (half a stick, add some flour to it so it thickens, then add some heavy cream/half&half/or Whole Milk. You know have a cream sauce, add your favorite cheese and now you have CHEESE SAUCE) Already 95% better than most mac & cheeses you will eat.

2. When ordering mac & cheese out, try and order it as a side to another delicious dish. Mac & Cheese completely by itself, while delicious, can get a little heavy. BUT as a delicious side to something like say…fried chicken or steak, now you’re cooking with gas.

3. You can try Easy Mac because it looks great on the box. But you wont ever have it at our house.

4. If you are at a fancy restaurant don’t be afraid to order the mac & cheese, this has almost always paid off for me. Why wouldn’t you want a great chef making an all time favorite? You’re paying top dollar, so you can order whatever you want.

5. If you are at a fast food chain, I would honestly avoid the mac & cheese. Most of the time it stinks and it ruins what you had in mind. Boston Market is the exception, even though they probably won’t be around when you are old enough to make decisions. But just know that there once was a place called Boston Market, and they served some delicious chicken and sides.

 

 

Rule 30. Save all your coins and allowances.

 

 

This may be dated by the time you read this, since in 2014 almost nobody uses coins anymore.

BUT if you do get coins/or still receive paper money, save them. I cannot stress the importance of saving your money when you’re young and have no expenses. Save your money, so you can help pay for your college, cars, or anything else you may want that is expensive in the future.

 

 

 

 

 

Rule 29. Fitness Etiquette

When you are at the gym, here are some simple rules to follow. This way you won’t ruin the gym experience for your fellow gymgoers.

1- Wipe down all/any equipment you use! It’s disgusting if you don’t. Seriously it helps spread MRSA.

2- Never listen to your music without your headphones (unless no one else is in the gym, like literally the gym is empty)

3- Don’t grunt or yell, basically don’t act like a caveman. Nobody cares that you deadlifted a zillion pounds.

4- If someone has their headphones on, don’t bother them.

5- Don’t hog equipment, but stand your ground if you were using something.

6- Don’t just loaf on equipment, let other people work in.

7- If you are a boy, don’t wear something so revealing that everyone can see your kibbles and bits.

8- Wear Deodorant.

9- Be courteous to everyone at the gym.

10- Don’t give advice to anyone, unless someone asks. Nobody wants your “Expert” opinion.