Rule 81. It’s better to be late to a party than early.


Because when you come early, not only is the host not ready for you. There are no snacks available for you and you have now all of a sudden inconvenienced the host because they have to serve you, because you decided to be a jackass and come earlier than announced. Be a little late, nobody cares and it makes it easier for you to slip out if its lame. Plus if you’re early, you’ll have to help most likely, which also sucks.

Rule 79. Things you do in the past will catch up to you.


So don’t screw up your future by being a screw up in the present. As a teenager you tend to think you’re invincible and your actions have no consequences. Let me tell you kids, you are not invincible and your actions (if stupid enough) will catch up to you. Try and think long term when making big decisions, especially if they are stupid ones.

Think, if I did this and it showed up on the New York Times, would I be okay with that? That’s usually a good barometer for knowing when something is good or bad.

Rule 78. Do not ever bring an animal to another persons house under any condition.

No one wants to have to accommodate your stupid animal’s needs. So do not be that person who brings their dog to the house and have it run all around.

The ownership of another living thing is a very big task. Only get a pet if you are ready and capable of taking care of that thing. Don’t just get a pet to get one.

More often than not, owning a pet is only worth it if your lifestyle can handle it, if you work 40 hours a week and your animal is alone by itself all the time, ruining your house mind you, is that really fair to the animal or you?

Rule 77. Living by the water is overrated.

You know who are the first to die when there is a hurricane? THE PEOPLE WHO LIVE BY THE WATER.

You know whose house gets ruined when there is a big storm? Lemme take a guess and say the PEOPLE BY THE WATER.

Living by the water is good for like 2 days out of the whole year, so get a hotel room for that.