Rule 15. A good steak is best served medium, not well done.

This is all about preference. But if you are supremely sketched out by the establishment that you are dining in, by all means get it cooked well done. On the flipside, if this is a swanky place,  you can dance on the wildside going medium rare or even rare. But my personal preference is medium, you get just enough juice without the upset stomach possibly later.

Rule 14. Know your spelling and grammar rules, but don’t correct anyone on their mistakes unsolicited.

It’s just rude. Plus, no one will be able to stand you. – Mom

This link will help explain the confusing rules:

Take it from someone whose grammar stinks, grammar is important and it will help you tremendously in the professional world. Although, in the future you will probably write business proposals in emoji’s or something dumb like that. – Dad.

Rule 13. When in the dairy section, take the time to get your items from the back of the shelf.

The milk at the front of the shelf, for instance, is the oldest there and may expire in a few days if you check the date. The milk in the back, however, is freshest.



Kids, Pops here. That was Mom on the rule above, of course I would never be that smart to figure that little wrinkle out. Only figured that out when I started dating her. White People are smart, there is a reason why they run this place!

Another note on the whole dairy thing. Be very careful about which dairy you choose.  Let’s review the major dairy guidelines for being healthy.

A wise dairy sage elicited these tenets to me. So you will follow these:

Milk: I have no problems with Skim Milk, but make sure your milk is hormone free, organic, and that the Cow was pasture raised. Try and get it from a local area. You want your milk to be additive free, skim milk taste like blah, because all the goodies have been taken out. If it tastes like whole milk, it probably has additives.

Yogurt: From the sage himself, “You want your yogurt to be free of all additives and preservaties found in low and/or fat free yogurts. The ingredients in your yogurt should be simple – Milk and live cultures. ” So when you are eating that fat free garbage, just know it ain’t all it’s cracked up to be. Eat full fat, but just eat less, who said you have to eat a vat of yogurt? Same goes for the Greek Yogurts too. Don’t worry by the time you are done growing up in my house, you’ll only tolerate the full fat goodness anyways.

Cheese: Go for the local organic/additive free stuff. Look on the back of your cheese labels, you’ll see cellulose, sugar, xantham gum, and all sorts of other weird crap. I’m sure by the time you all can make your own food choices, half of this stuff will have been researched to cause like 3rd nipples or something.

Enjoy the wonderful world of dairy kids. Dairy makes everything better, unless of course you all develop lactose intolerance. Because then…well…Dairy ain’t your friend.

Rule 12. Floss

And brush and rinse and use a tongue scraper for fresh breath. 

Hi Kids, Pops Here. 

As you will notice throughout our home, I’m a bit of a flossing enthusiast. Taking care of your teeth is a great investment in your long term health. You only get one set of permanent teeth, so why let them waste away? Floss properly every night. 

Make sure you brush your teeth and make sure you tongue scrape. Tongue Scrape? Yeah, Tongue Scrape. Use a tongue scraper: they are cheap, but they really refresh your mouth in the morning. 

Taking care of your teeth will save you a lot of pain and agony when you are older. You can laugh all the way to the Bitcoin Bank or whatever you guys are using for currency in 2040, maybe Tweets? Or something even stupider than that.

Rule 11. Smile genuinely at people passing by. (SOMETIMES!)

11. Smile genuinely at people passing by.

The occasional, “How are you?” might even be in order. 

This is a BIG one. You could be making your first impression without even knowing it yet. 
*Kids, Dad here, This is your Mom’s Rule. It worked out well for us. BUT be careful, I don’t recommend this in the following areas:
-Scary Parts of the Inner City 
-Prison (better not be there, but hey nobody’s perfect)
-In a zoo, that is a sign of aggression and you will get your face eaten by a Chimp. No thanks.
– Scary Biker Bar
– Basically anywhere scary.


Rule 6. Get there a little bit early.

You’ll never regret it.* And if you think you might run late, call. People are exorbitantly grateful for this. Plus, it just feels better when you’re early. Trust me.
*(This applies to professional events/meetings) For a party, being early can be annoying to the host, so just be on time.